The Intimate Wedding Alternative: Why Eloping is Here to Stay

David Dean Photographic

Eloping, once considered scandalous, is now a rising trend in the world of weddings as a popular alternative to tradition, and it's not hard to see why. Couples are choosing to forgo the traditional route of having a big, elaborate wedding and instead opting for a more intimate and personal celebration of their love in a way that feels true to them. But why is eloping on the rise? Let’s first delve in the history of elopements…

The History

The concept of eloping can be traced back to ancient times when young couples would run away together to escape disapproving parents and societal norms. In fact, the word "elopement" comes from the Middle English word "lopian," which means "to leap." This referred to the act of jumping over a boundary or obstacle, which is what couples would do to escape their families and communities and get married in secret. In the Middle Ages, elopements were often a result of class differences, as couples from different social classes were not allowed to marry.

In the 1700s, English law stated that couples under the age of 21 needed the consent of their parents or guardians to marry. However, Scottish law had no such requirement, and couples could marry without parental consent if they were over 16 years old. As a result, Gretna Green, which was just across the Scottish border from England, became a popular destination for young couples to elope.

The village of Gretna Green had several reasons for its popularity as an elopement destination. It was easily accessible from England, with the main route to Scotland passing through the village. Additionally, the village had a reputation for being welcoming to young couples, with locals often providing assistance and even acting as witnesses to the weddings.

The marriage laws in Scotland remained relatively relaxed throughout the 19th century, and Gretna Green continued to be a popular destination for eloping couples. The village's famous "blacksmith shop" became a symbol of these clandestine marriages, as it was often the site where couples exchanged their vows. This was due to the fact that blacksmiths were able to perform marriages under Scottish law.

During the 18th and 19th centuries, elopements were often portrayed in literature and theatre as romantic and adventurous, with young couples risking everything for love, particularly in the works of Jane Austen, where she explores the theme of elopement as a way for young couples to escape the restrictions of society and follow their hearts. In "Pride and Prejudice", Lydia Bennet elopes with Mr. Wickham, which causes a scandal in her family and almost ruins her reputation.

Elopements continued to be stigmatised by society during this time, with religious and social pressures encouraging couples to have formal, sanctioned weddings.

The idea of eloping as a terribly romantic act continued into the 20th century, with famous examples, such as the elopement of actress Olivia de Havilland with author Marcus Goodrich in 1946. In the 1960s and 1970s, the counterculture movement popularised non-traditional weddings and elopements, with many young couples choosing to run away and get married in unconventional locations.

Andy Griffin Photography

A Timeless Tradition in the Modern Day

In recent years, elopement weddings have become increasingly popular and there are a few reasons for this.

Firstly, many couples are looking for a more intimate and personalised experience. Traditional weddings can be stressful and expensive, and some couples feel that they lose control over their own celebration. Elopement weddings, on the other hand, offer a chance to create a ceremony that is unique to the couple and their relationship, allowing them the freedom to have the exact wedding they want. Rather than adhering to tradition or family expectations, couples can create a celebration that truly reflects their personalities and values. Whether it's exchanging vows on a mountaintop, saying "I do" on the beach, or having a private ceremony in a truly romantic destination, eloping allows couples to be true to themselves.

Leading on from this, elopements can be a way to avoid family politics. In many cases, families can have strong opinions about how a wedding should be planned and executed, which can cause tension and stress for the couple. By eloping, couples can avoid these conflicts and focus on what's important: their love for each other.

Finally, elopement weddings can be more affordable. Weddings can be increasingly expensive, with the average wedding in the UK costing upwards of £20,000. Elopements, on the other hand, can be much more economical, with couples able to focus their budget on the things that matter most to them, such as photography, location, and travel.

In conclusion, elopements are a rising trend of the wedding industry and look set to stay for the foreseeable. While the history of elopements is fraught with societal pressures and stigmas, today's couples are choosing to elope for a variety of reasons. The benefits of eloping include cost savings, freedom to create a personalised celebration, and avoiding family politics. If you're considering eloping, remember that it's your wedding day, and you should do what feels right for you and your partner.

David Dean Photographic

Hedingham Castle is the perfect setting for couples looking to celebrate the beginning of their marriage in a private and intimate setting. With stunning architecture and picturesque views, our unique venue exudes a timeless charm and sophistication that will make your wedding day unforgettable. For more information about eloping at Hedingham Castle, click here.