If you are reading this newly engaged, congratulations! We hope you are not feeling too daunted by the thought of planning your wedding - although it can seem like a minefield at first, it can also be an incredibly rewarding experience and lots of fun if you embrace it! Our wedding experts have put together this comprehensive guide which will hopefully be a useful tool to start you on your planning journey. Settle down with a cup of tea and some snacks and dive in…

Set a budget
Although you may be super keen to get stuck into all the exciting elements of planning your wedding straight off the bat, it is crucial that you sit down with your partner and have an open discussion about your finances, as everything else will rely on this. The main points to consider:
- How much, realistically, can you both afford?
- How much will you be able to save over the coming months?
- Will anyone else be contributing?
If you think that parents or family members may be helping towards the cost, it is useful to talk with them at the beginning of your wedding planning journey, so that you can budget accordingly.
Using a budget planner tool can be a very useful way to keep track of your estimates and spending and there are many available for free online. We love this one from Bridebook. For a more indepth look at budgeting, take a look here.

2. Set priorities together

Making sure you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to what you want for your big day is vital, or you may not make it to married life! All jokes aside, finding the time to sit down and discuss your priorities for your wedding day is invaluable and will make for a much smoother planning experience. Everyone’s priorities will differ but some of the common themes to talk through are:

Guest numbers - this will have an impact on key elements of your planning process including budget and venue so needs to be considered early on (more on that shortly)
Location - do you want to get married abroad?
Entertainment - do you envisage live music at your reception? This can be an expensive but important part of your day so best to decide early on in the process.

Once you have decided on your priorities and agreed them together, these will set the tone for the rest of the planning. If your budget is tight (and almost everyone’s always is), these will be handy to refer back to further down the line to keep you focussed on what’s really important to you both for your big day.

3. Organisation is key

Everyone works differently but it is important to make sure all your wedding notes are easily accessible in the same place. If you are a pen-and-paper sort of person, a physical notebook or folder might work best for you; you could create a shared Google folder for you and your partner to keep track of everything; or you could use a free online wedding planning app, there are lots to choose from and they can also be really useful for finding suppliers, looking at real weddings for inspiration and getting tips and advice. We like Hitched and Bridebook.

4. Set the date

Your wedding date will need to be decided before you can start with many other elements of your planning, including finalising your wedding style, finding your dress (a winter wedding will typically require a different style dress than a summer date) and booking your venue.

Think about which dates to avoid, including national holidays, major sports events or unlucky numbers. Also bear in mind that dates that fall within ‘peak’ season - between May and September inclusive - will be more expensive than those outside of the summer season, when booking your venue. Saturdays are the most expensive days of the week, followed by Fridays and Sundays, with Monday-Thursdays often coming in cheapest. Fridays are becoming more and more popular with couples as it strikes a happy balance between cost and convenience. Read more about that here.

5. Find your style

Unless you have a super clear vision of how you want your day to look (and even if you do have such a clear vision), it’s a good plan to start collating images of all things weddings that inspire you. Pinterest is the perfect place to create a wedding vision board, and you can even make sub boards for the individual elements of your wedding, such as dresses, flowers, cakes, table decor, hair, and so on. It may seem daunting but once you get started it can be rather addictive!

After you have collected a handful of images, you will likely see a trend start to appear in which style(s) you are drawn to, which you can then discuss with your partner and narrow down your theme from there - having a theme, even if just a loose one, will give you something to base your wedding around, for example vintage, classic, glamourous, or boho. You can also share your boards with your suppliers further down the line, if both parties find it useful (florists and stylists in particular will find this insight invaluable).

6. Create a checklist

Having a comprehensive To Do list will help you keep on top of your budget and your planning time. There are many useful ones that can be found online, such as this one from Bridebook or you can create your own tailor made one on a spreadsheet. Alternatively, Trello can be a great way to create a shared list with your partner where items can be updated according to their status, i.e. In Progress, Complete, On Hold etc.

7. Make a guest list

It is likely that you will already have an idea in mind of which friends and family you want there on your wedding day. The best place to start is to write down a list of everyone you want there individually and then work as a couple to combine and narrow down depending on budget - if you have a huge guest list and can afford to have everyone at your wedding then go for it! The next decision to make is who you will invite to the whole day and who will be invited to just the evening reception.

Finalising your guest numbers goes hand in hand with choosing your venue as the two are closely entwined. When enquiring with venues, you will need to be able to give them a rough idea on guest numbers so that they can a) advise if they can accommodate you at the venue and b) give you a guide price for booking. Leading nicely onto…

8. Find your venue

Now that you’ve chosen your theme and have a rough idea of guest numbers, you can start looking at venues and make a shortlist for which ones you want to view. Sit down together and think about what you want from your venue, where in the country (or world if looking abroad) you want to hold it and which sort of venues will suit your style. It is also important to think about the practical elements such as if you specifically want onsite accommodation, if you need a fully accessible venue and if you want to choose your own caterer or are happy to choose from a venue’s shortlist. We would recommend viewing at least 3 venues to give you some comparison before deciding. Most venues will offer free private viewing appointments where you can have a tour of the venue, speak with their wedding team and ask questions. Think about your questions in advance and write them down so you can run through them whilst you are there.

Many venues also host open days and wedding shows throughout the year which are a good opportunity for seeing the venue dressed for a wedding. Click here to find out more about Hedingham Castle’s upcoming open days.

9. Book the Registrar

So you’ve set the date, decided on your venue and provisionally held the date with them. Now you need to make sure that there is a registrar available to wed you in the area on that day, before you can officially book your venue and pay your deposit. You will need to contact the venue’s county council who their wedding licence is registered with (this must be the venue’s county council, not the council where you live) - the venue will be able to advise you which council this is and the relevant contact information.

10. Purchase wedding insurance

With the average wedding now costing upwards of £17,000 (according to Hitched’s National Wedding Survey) it’s good sense to prepare for the unthinkable and insure your big day from the moment you start parting with money, giving you and your partner peace of mind and reduced stress levels. Wedding insurance will protect you from financial losses due to illness, accidents, cancellations and other unforeseen circumstances during the build up to or on the wedding day itself. It costs on average around £150 which is a reasonable investment given the total amount of money your wedding is likely to cost you. More information and comparison quotes can be found here.

11. Choose a colour palette

hedingham castle table lewis cabuche hire my decor

Armed with your chosen theme, venue and time of year that you will be saying ‘I do’, you can now decide on your colour scheme, which will not only be extremely useful in helping you decide on, for example, bridesmaids dresses, flowers, invitations, table settings and various other elements, but also give your wedding a beautifully thought out and cohesive feel, and one that echoes your theme. For some inspiration and colour trends for 2023, click here.

12. Choose your wedding party

It is likely that you will already know who you want for your maid of honour, bridesmaids, best man and groomsmen. It’s important to keep in mind which roles are responsible for which tasks and assign people accordingly. Think carefully about who you trust to support you in these roles on the day. Also keep in mind your budget as the more people you have in your wedding party, the more this will cost you - outfit hire/purchase, bouquets/buttonholes, thank you gifts, it soon adds up. The main supporting roles in a wedding are usually:

Maid of Honour
Bridesmaid(s)
Best Man
Groomsmen/Ushers
Flower Girl/Page Boy
Ring Bearer
Witnesses

13. Book your suppliers

Now that you have the venue booked, you can get started on booking your other suppliers, the main ones being:

Florist
Photographer
Videographer
Wedding planner, if using (many venues, including Hedingham Castle, offer a wedding co-ordinator included as part of their package)
Cake maker
Stationer, for your save the dates and invites
Band and/or DJ
Make up & hair
Caterer (many venues have a selection for you to choose from, some venues will allow you to hire an external caterer)
Bar (if organising separately from venue)

Depending on budget and how much you are willing to do yourselves, you can also hire companies for:

Favours
Styling
Transport, for the bride and/or the wedding party if the ceremony is in a different location to the reception venue
Photo Booth
Celebrant
Reception entertainment, such as a close up magician or birds of prey
Wedding decor such as light up letters or a sweet cart

For all the above, keep in mind your budget and use your planner to keep track of all supplier quotes and paid for costs as you go along. As the wedding market grows, there are so many options available to couples and it is very easy to get carried away and lose sight of your initial list of priorities. You can save some money by doing a few of those things yourselves, such as favours, or enlisting the help of your wedding party.

14. Have first planning meeting with venue

Around 9-12 months before your wedding date, it is a good idea to have the first planning meeting with your wedding co-ordinator at your venue. During this meeting they will run through in more detail how your day will flow and you can share with them your suppliers list and thoughts so far on how you want your day to pan out. Wedding co-ordinators live and breathe weddings on a daily basis so can add invaluable insight and advice to help make your day run perfectly. They may also have suggestions on what to include (and not include) to ensure your day has the best flow.

15. Review contracts

It is important to make sure that you thoroughly read through all your suppliers’ contracts before signing and parting with money. These contracts are legally binding and, whilst it’s more likely than not that there won’t be anything to change, do ensure you check over them before signing on the dotted line.

16. Send Save The Dates

It is acceptable to send your Save The Date cards out up to a year in advance. These only need to be very simple, detailing you and your partner’s names, the date, location and that a formal invitation will follow in the coming months. You can get these designed and printed by a stationer without spending a fortune (many stationers can be found on Etsy) who can then go on to design your full invitations further down the line. Or you can have a digital version created which can be emailed out to save on postage.

17. Make a wedding website

More and more couples are choosing to go digital with their wedding information and create a wedding website from a selection of templates available online. This is a place where you can upload all your wedding details, from the venue address, order of the day, recommended taxis, nearby accommodation and gift registry. You can also record your RSVPs here and take guests’ dining choices and any dietary requirements. You can create your own URL and pop it on your invitation for guests to navigate to. As it is a useful information point for your wedding, a wedding website also helps reduce the number of guests pestering you for details the week before the wedding when they need to book a taxi or somewhere to stay. Click here for the best wedding website builders currently out there.

18. Look for wedding wear

Wedding dresses are often made to order and can take up to 6 months to create so leave yourself plenty of time to search for The One. It can be an emotional time and every bride deals with it differently - some want their whole bridal party and mother/mother-in-law in attendance at every shop they visit, others prefer to just take their mum or one or two bridesmaids. Once you have chosen your dress, you can then start looking for complementary bridesmaids dressings and groomsmen suits.

If you don’t want to shell out thousands on a wedding dress, many off the rail dresses can be snapped up at bargain prices during end of season sales, or you can hire one for a fraction of the cost. This is the same for the groomsmen - if you don’t have the budget to buy 4-5 brand new suits, look at hiring them instead.

19. Create a gift list

Although it may feel odd asking people for specific gifts, many guests appreciate it and find it much easier than guessing what you may want. If you are creating a gift list, it can be useful to do this before you send out your invites so that you can include the gift registry information on the invitations. This can be a link to your wedding website and doesn’t have to be the final list - you can continue to update it up to a few weeks before the big day.

You may decide you would prefer money towards your honeymoon instead, and if so you can set up a honeymoon fund page where guests can choose how much they would like to give.

20. Send invitations

Hedingham Castle A Little Brush Stationery

Six months before your wedding date is about right for sending out invitations. As with the Save The Dates, make sure to include your wedding date, venue location and also add the time of ceremony, as well as menu choices (if giving people the option) or somewhere they can put any dietary requirements. You can also detail nearby accommodation here as well as local taxis, gift list etc. As there is a lot of information to include, a wedding website could be a good option (see Point 17.) to reduce printing costs. If this is the case, make sure you include your wedding website URL so guests can find the information online.

If you are allowing plus ones for single friends, be sure to include that on the information to save any awkward conversations nearer the time. Likewise, if you have decided to have a childfree wedding, it is important that you include this on the invitation too to give people plenty of time to arrange childcare.

Evening guests normally receive a pared back invitation that makes clear (in a nice way) that they are invited to the evening only.

Depending on how the budget is looking and how generous you are feeling, you can include RSVP cards and a stamped addressed envelope for guests to reply with, or alternatively, you can just ask people to RSVP via text or email. Be sure to include an RSVP deadline, usually 4-6 weeks before the date of the wedding, to give you enough time to finalise numbers with the venue and caterer.

21. Have your menu tastings

Depending on the catering set up with your venue, your tasting experience will vary however it is important that you sample your caterer’s food before the big day and finalise your menu options. These are usually provided free of charge and held either at the venue or at your caterer’s offices.

22. Organise transport

If you require transportation from wherever you are getting ready to the church/venue, it can be a nice touch to hire something that ties in with your theme and venue style. For example, a classic car, such as our elegant Rolls Royce, fits well with a country manor venue, or a vintage VW camper van could be a fun option if you are having a boho or festival style wedding.

23. Final planning meeting with venue

You will usually have your last planning meeting with your venue around the 4-months-to-go mark, to finalise any outstanding arrangements, update them on any extra suppliers you have booked and run through the confirmed order of the day.

24. Collect RSVPs and create table plan

Hopefully all guests who are able to make it have now RSVP’d so you can finalise your numbers. You may need to chase a few guests up! Once you have your final guest list, you can play around creating your table plan. Ask your venue for a floorplan of the space you will be dining in and how many people can fit on each table. Generally guests prefer to be seated with a few people they know, also think about any guests who may need to be situated closer to the door for easy access in and out, such as elderly family members.

You will usually need to give the venue, and caterer if using an external one, your final numbers and guest list 4-6 weeks in advance.

25. Arrange accommodation

You may have already researched nearby accommodation for your invitations but if there is onsite accommodation with your venue, you will need to decide who will be staying there and/or offer it out to close friends/family if there are spare rooms available. Depending on the size of the accommodation and your budget, some couples may decide to cover the cost of all the rooms themselves, some may pay just for very close family, and others may choose to charge guests to cover some/all of the costs. It totally depends on what you are comfortable with and can afford. At Hedingham, our Medieval Lodge sleeps up to 17 people in 8 rooms and is just a few steps from the Castle.

26. Buy wedding rings

A nice simple task hopefully! Decide on budget and choose rings in keeping with your own personal styles and one that complements your engagement ring.

27. Create schedule of events for the day

This is invaluable for both you and your suppliers so that you know the running of the day. It can also flag up anything you may have missed or elements that still need working through. Your venue will help you with this and can advise from experience on the best flow of the day. Once you have finalised the schedule, give a copy to all your suppliers as well as your maid of honour, groomsmen and any other wedding party members that need to know. You can also use it to create your Order of the Day for guests, detailing the time of ceremony, reception drinks, dinner, first dance and kicking out time. You may like to have this designed in the same style as your invites and place on chairs for guests to pick up when they arrive.

28. Decide on speeches/readings

Traditionally the speeches are usually done by the father of the bride, the best man and then the groom. Some brides may also like to say a few words and some maid of honours may also, it’s completely up to you and what you feel is right for your day. Make sure you give people plenty of time to write their speeches so they are not rushed.

29. Check in on stag/hen plans

Although it’s likely that the stag and hen celebrations aren’t arranged by the couple, it is worth checking in with your maid of honour and best man to check if there is anything you need to do in preparation for the events such as what you might need to pack.

30. Make it legal

Before you can legally marry in the UK, you must first register your intent to marry and sign a legal statement at your local register office to say you intend to get married or form a civil partnership. This is known as giving notice. And must be done at least 29 calendar days before your ceremony and you must marry within 12 months of giving notice. A more comprehensive guide to giving notice can be found here.

31. Book a mini moon

You may want to wait until after your wedding to book your honeymoon, especially if you are asking guests for money towards it. It can also feel overwhelming adding another daunting task to your ever growing wedding To Do list. However, you may like to organise a short trip away immediately after your wedding, often called a ‘mini moon’, which is a lovely way to relax after what is likely to have been a rather busy few weeks leading up to the wedding, and enjoy some time quality time together just the two of you.

32. Check in with venue and suppliers

In the final few weeks before your wedding, it’s a good idea for peace of mind to ring round all your suppliers just to check in with them that everything is OK for the wedding and if they have any final queries.

33. Write your vows

If you are saying your own vows, you will need to give yourself plenty of time to write them - the last thing you need is to be stressing about them on the day of your wedding. If you don’t want to write your own, you can instead choose from a selection of vows from your registrar/vicar.

34. Final dress/suit fittings

Organise your dress fitting for around 2 weeks before your wedding day, which is close enough so that your body shape shouldn’t change and give enough time for the alterations to be made. If you are having a made to measure suit, you’ll need to arrange a final fitting with your tailor also.

35. Create your playlist(s)

Depending on your reception entertainment, if you aren’t having any live music it is a lovely touch to create your own playlist for the drinks reception, which reflects the vibe you want to create for your guests. Check with your venue if they can provide a speaker and that it will connect to the device you have.

You will also need to choose your wedding music - the song you will walk down the aisle to and the song which will be played as you are signing the register. Be aware that if you are having a civil ceremony, the music you choose is not permitted to have any religious references in it, this also applies to any readings for civil ceremonies.

36. Gifts for your partner & wedding party

hedingham castle wedding gift tom halliday

It can be a lovely touch that is very well received to prepare a gift and card for your partner to open on the morning of the wedding whilst they are getting ready. It might be something personal to you both or perhaps something that they can wear on the day.

It is also thoughtful to give a few small gifts to those who have really helped you in the planning process, such as your maid of honour and best man. These are usually handed out during the speeches or you may prefer to give them in private in the morning when getting ready, if they are for your bridesmaids, groomsmen for example.

37. Take some time off

If you can, it may be a good idea to take a few days of annual leave in the run up to the wedding, to give you time to organise any last minute details and allow you some head space before the big day, so that you are as stress free as possible on the day of your wedding. On the day itself, try and grab 5-10 minutes of calm with just the two of you, to look out on your guests enjoying themselves and be proud of what an amazing day you have created together.